Mostofusaretaughttopayattentiontowhatissaid—thewords.Wordsdoprovideuswithsomeinformation,butmeaningsarederivedfromsomanyothersourcesthatitwouldhinderoureffectivenessasapartnertoarelationshiptorelytooheavilyonwordsalone.Wordsareusedtodescribeonlyasmallpartofthemanyideasweassociatewithanygivenmessage.Sometimeswecangaininsightintosomeofthoseassociationsifwelistenformorethanwords.Wedon’talwayssaywhatwemeanormeanwhatwesay.Sometimesourwordsdon’tmeananythingexcept“I’mlettingoffsomesteam.Idon’treallywantyoutopaycloseattentiontowhatI’msaying.JustpayattentiontowhatI’mfeeling.”Mostlywemeanseveralthingsatonce.Apersonwantingtopurchaseahousesaystothecurrentowner,“ThisstephastobefixedbeforeI’llbuy.”Theownersays,“It’sbeenlikethatforyears.”Actually,thestephasn’tbeenlikethatforyears,buttheunspokenmessageis:“Idon’twanttofixit.Weputupwithit.Whycan’tyou?”Thesearchforamoreexpansiveviewofmeaningcanbedevelopedofexaminingamessageintermsofwhosaidit,whenitoccurred,therelatedconditionsorsituation,andhowitwassaid. Whenamessageoccurscanalsorevealassociatedmeaning.Letusassumetwocouplesdoexactlythesameamountofkissingandarguing.Butonecouplealwayskissesafteranargumentandtheothercouplealwaysarguesafterakiss.Theorderingofthebehaviorsmaymeanagreatdealmorethanthefrequencyofthebehavior.Afriend’sunusuallydocilebehaviormayonlybeunderstoodbynotingthatitwasprecededbysituationsthatrequiredanabnormalamountofassertiveness.Someresponsesmaybedirectlylinkedtoadevelopingpatternofresponsesanddefylogic.Forexample,apersonwhosays“No!”toaserialsofchargeslike“You’redumb,”“You’relazy,”and“You’redishonest,”mayalsosay“No!”andtrytojustifyhisorherresponseifthenextstatementis“Andyou’regoodlooking.” Wewoulddowelltolistenforhowmessagesarepresented.Thewords,“Ifsurehasbeennicetohaveyouover,”canbesaidwithemphasisandexcitementorritualistically.Thephrasecanbesaidonceorrepeatedseveraltimes.Andthemeaningsweassociatewiththephrasewillchangeaccordingly.Sometimesifwesaysomethinginfrequentlyitassumesmoreimportance;sometimesthemorewesaysomethingthelessimportanceitassumes. 1.Effectivecommunicationisrenderedpossiblebetweentwoconversingpartners,if___. A.theyuseproperwordstocarrytheirideas. B.theybothspeaktrulyoftheirownfeelings. C.theytrytounderstandeachother’sideasbeyondwords. D.theyarecapableofassociatingmeaningwiththeirwords. 2.“I’mlettingoffsomesteam”inparagraph1means___. A.I’mjustcallingyourattention. B.I’mjustkidding. C.I’mjustsayingtheopposite. D.I’mjustgivingoffsomesound. 3.Thehouse-owner’sexampleshowsthatheactuallymeans___. A.thestephasbeenlikethatforyears. B.hedoesn’tthinkitnecessarytofixthestep. C.theconditionofthestepisonlyaminorfault. D.thecostinvolvedinthefixingshouldbeshared. 4.Someresponsesandbehaviorsmayappearveryillogical,butarejustifiableif___. A.linkedtoanabnormalamountofassertiveness. B.seenasone’shabitualpatternofbehavior. C.takenaspartofanorderingsequence. D.expressedtoaseriesofcharges. 5.Theword“ritualistically”inthelastparagraphequalssomethingdone___. A.withouttrueintention. B.light-heartedly. C.inawayofceremony. D.withlessemphasis.-查字典考试网